Fear of Flying

Recently I took my first flight in a small plane. I flew from Boise to Missoula, MT. The trip by car through Grangeville is about 365 miles – about 7 hours, but only about 2 ½ hours as the crow flies. The plane I flew in is owned by my brother, who has had his private pilot’s license for about five years. I’ve wanted to fly with him, but I’ve never took the opportunity before now.

Let me first say that I have flown many times during my youth and adult years on various kinds of commercial flights all over the world. During all of these experiences, I’ve never had a fear of flying – I implicitly trust the pilots will make the right decisions regarding my safety. I do however, have a fear of heights… climbing up a 30 foot ladder to replace a fire signal on the side of a building gives me the ‘heebie jeebies’. The anticipation of such a task causes me to sweat and a tight knot develops in the pit of my stomach. I’ve always been able to overcome this fear of heights and complete the task, but it requires an intense exertion of my will and afterwards I need some time to ‘recover’.

As a young boy, I remember being on a plane flying from California to Taiwan and getting a set of TWA pilot wings from the stewardess during the flight. It was exciting looking out my window seat as we took off and landed. I felt fearless as I experienced the physical effects of takeoff and the bump of the plane’s wheels making contact with the runway in a strange new country. As an adult I once experienced flight turbulence so severe that many of my fellow passengers suffered from motion sickness and availed themselves of the air sickness bags provided by the airlines. During the flight we experienced sudden drops of altitude and were required to remain in our seats for the duration of the flight as the flight attendants did their best to help and calm the passengers. Fortunately I didn’t get sick and was able to calm and reassure fearful passengers sitting near to me. “These pilots are experienced and will safely deliver us to our destination,” I assured those whose faces displayed the fear they felt in their hearts.

Fears come in all shapes, sizes and vary in their intensity. While I never had a fear of flying in a commercial flight, I must admit my first trip in a small plane brought me a couple of moments of anxiety. As I climbed into the plane’s cockpit, I immediately noticed how small and confining it felt.

The takeoff was smooth and the plane’s aerodynamic design lifted us effortlessly into the sky. As the ground fell away from my view, a slight uneasiness began to overtake me. The sensation of flying in a small plane was much different than a large one! I could feel every movement – sometimes when a breeze would push the plane, it would turn a little sideways – something an airliner would just ignore.

As we began to gain altitude, I began to get accustomed to the motion of flight. The views during the sky were spectacular – the mountains seemed so close – like you could almost reach out and touch them. As we attempted to fly around a storm front, our path through the mountains was cut off by dark and foreboding clouds, so we made an unscheduled landing in Challis, Idaho. As my brother aligned the plane to the runway, the winds began to buffet the plane as we descended and I felt the fear that I had once seen on the faces of fellow passengers. The ‘heebie jeebies’ gripped me and a tight knot formed suddenly in my stomach. My brother was ‘testing the winds’ by seeing how the plane was reacting to the shifting breezes. As the fear welled up in my body and mind, my thoughts went back to a time when I comforted my youngest son during his first skiing lesson as we rode together on a chairlift. The wind was howling and rocking us and my son experienced a similar fear. That day on the chairlift I comforted his fears with a children’s song we had sang many times at bedtime.

When I am afraid I will trust in you,
I will trust in you, I will trust in you.
When I am afraid I will trust in you,
In God whose word I praise.
(Psalm 56:3-4b)

I closed my eyes and sang those words to myself as we were descended through the winds to the runway. I sought and received from them the comfort I had once offered my son. As I felt the wheels of the plane touch the runway, I smiled to myself at the memory from his childhood years. Where do you find comfort in the midst of fears? I found comfort that day from my fears in the memories of a children’s song.